Monday, May 3, 2010

Therefore, I Believe

I always have insecurities, low self-esteem and lack self-confidence. I am often described as shy, timid or snob because of my silence and keeping to myself. I grew up not used to having attention from a crowd. Though I always wanted to be known and be noticed.

I knew I am not that beautiful, it is just now that I can tell myself that I am beautiful. People close to my hearts and the passing of time made me know that. But there are times I lost that feeling that I am pretty just like the moments that made me lose the confidence that I barely have. My father always supported, whatever my opinions he hear it out, whatever I wanted to be in my life he was just there tapping my back and telling me that I can. It is just that I am always a disappointment sometimes or maybe most of the times. You know the feeling that you know there is so much more that you can offer and that this is not your true self; who is feeling stupid and stagnant. But the environment and people that surrounds you trap you to move so to get out.

I seldom have friends who are handsome and beautiful, most are the average type. I get easily insecure when I am surrounded by persons who are being pursued by many because they have faces like that. I don’t know, maybe because if I join them I would look like a wall flower. If I have good-looking friends, those are the ones who boost my fading self-esteem. See, the lack of self-esteem there.

It is very seldom that I meet special people who believe in me and who can see the real me. So when I meet those kinds of people I know they will become a big part of me. I mean who would believe in someone who sometimes lacks the will to be strong and grab the confidence that she knows she can reach. A lot of times I failed the people the people that I cherished the most but even though that was the case they never lost their faith in me. On the moment that I no longer believe, they are the ones who is going to believe for me. For this I learn to be humble and share what I have to people around me. If my faith is sometimes failing, what I do is support the people around me and cheer for them to be strong.With this, I get to boost my self-confidence by seeing somebody gain more confidence of their character. I tell them to believe, for everyone has the right to dream.

As I go on with life, I knew as long as people believe in me I need to believe in me also. For as long as I believe, therefore I loved..

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