Monday, November 12, 2012

An Open Letter

Dear You,

Hello, I was born like everyone else. You may come out in this world in a different way but we all went out just the same, with a wailing cry of innocence. Well, maybe I had the world’s loudest cry had ever heard when I was born. But I was born just like you. So I wrote this, just to explain myself. But inside I don’t think anyone has to explain themselves to the world. Life and the world we have is so much of a swirl of emotions and adventures. I think how we chose that emotions and adventures will make us agree with the world as we go on through life. I am 24 years old; I may say and we can all agree that the world has changed a lot in views and realities. Sometimes what I chose to do is not acceptable and not as exciting as the others. So with that thinking some people will say I am different. Well, more of like peculiar, so peculiar that I tend to be boring and the world with its life find me unfit and nobody. So here’s to Nobody’s Girl of the world.

I was so quiet that I could go on a day without even talking. Yet you may find me snobbish and so full of myself because I don’t talk to somebody. You may think that I see myself so greatly that I don’t talk to you. But you see the thing is I don’t talk to you because you just don’t want to talk to me. You see me snobbish because I don’t find myself really looking and smiling at people. As much as I wanted to see faces and smile, you know I’m just scared you may not smile back at me or like the fact that I’m smiling at you. I just resort to just staring at my feet when walking. Oh, you know how I love walking. I love long walks and just contemplate on things. I love reading and writing about just what I feel and realized. You, see it’s just boring to the world. The world that knows and accepts that fun is not found usually on the things that I just loved to do. Hey, I tried drinking but I just don't think I would be a smoker. I would like to try but I just can't. As for drinking, I had my drunken moment but my body was way too sensitive to carry on with it. I would love to go partying and dance the night away. Party seems a lot of fun but I just don't think I would be fun with it. I might just spoil the night and end up being a burden. Most of the people thought I don't even swear. Well, I d o swear a great deal when I am mad and irritable. But you know that seldom happens. As you see, you have already put me in a box; that because I am quiet I should take in everything bad and unacceptable about the world. You don't even bother most of the time how hard it is for me to take you in and the rest of the world and the life you chose to take in. To accept and understand; if you can feel it, recently I find it hard now to do so. Mostly, I’m in a daze but you could not even tell unless I say so. You just see me as you know me and how I am so against the world you have. I mean against because you don’t see me do the things you do even if you influence me. I cannot do it; for that I apologize. You see it’s not that I’m too scared to try or too self-righteous to do some things out of my comfort zone. You know, sometimes when a person says it’s just the way they are, it really is just the way they are. We both know that the world we have is such a big factor on the life we chose to have and what I am I don’t blame it for anyone. I do think you would agree with me on this. As I say I was born like you; innocent and you know better as we grow older we expand ourselves to learn, to try and to change. It may be for the worst but it is never too late to be the better me and you, I choose to be me. Though you do realize that it is hard to be me, I am so unlike you in many ways. But the world has its funny way to make two different poles collide. You might ignore me, will try to despise me perhaps or you just go on with your life without knowing that you met someone like me. Well, I always think I’m forgettable and mostly whom someone you passed by unnoticed. We do feel like nobody in this world. But I fell I would be somebody’s somebody. I am happy that you sometimes choose to be my somebody and know my peculiar side. I hope you will continue to know me to be somebody you know. It fells a great deal to me when somebody won’t give up on me. Like a lover, a friend or a complete stranger I am happy that even for a minute someone chose to enter my world and most overwhelming if they chose to stay for a long time.

As this letter come to an end, you might still think I am a nobody to you and just some random people you chose to know and you then chose to drop like some useless trash. You see, I am resilient, I can understand you more than you can imagine. Though it is not really my obligation to do that when you really don't bother if I do it. In the end, we are like oil and water; you and I. A carefree and a bore; in a life we choose to live and the world we walk on. Like the sun and the rain. But you know we are thought as we live in that we should move on and live life to the fullest. You chose to do that, I also do. I am glad you have me as I am glad I have you. I'm never going to let go because I do not own you.  You are a part of the life I choose to have and I am happy to choose you. I thank you so much. I hope this explains me to you.


Nobody's Girl