Thursday, October 27, 2011

OneRepublic - Good Life (AOL Sessions)




"Good Life"

Woke up in London yesterday
Found myself in the city near Piccadilly
Don't really know how I got here
I got some pictures on my phone

New names and numbers that I don't know

Address to places like Abbey Road
Day turns to night, night turns to whatever we want
We're young enough to say

Oh this has gotta be the good life

This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life

Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight

Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life

To my friends in New York, I say hello

My friends in L.A. they don't know
Where I've been for the past few years or so
Paris to China to Col-or-ado

Sometimes there's airplanes I can't jump out

Sometimes there's bullshit that don't work now
We are god of stories but please tell me-e-e-e
What there is to complain about

When you're happy like a fool

Let it take you over
When everything is out
You gotta take it in

Oh this has gotta be the good life

This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life

Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight

Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life

Hopelessly

I feel like there might be something that I'll miss
Hopelessly
I feel like the window closes oh so quick
Hopelessly
I'm taking a mental picture of you now
'Cuz hopelessly
The hope is we have so much to feel good about

Oh this has gotta be the good life

This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life

Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight

Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life

Oh yeah

Good, good life
Good life
Ooh

Listen

My friends in New York, I say hello
My friends in L.A. they don't know
Where I've been for the past few years or so
Paris to China to Col-or-ado

Sometimes there's airplanes I can't jump out

Sometimes there's bullshit that don't work now
We are god of stories but please tell me-e-e-e
What there is to complain about

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Taste of Fear

It is still at the tip of my tongue. Fear. So this is how it feels and taste like. I cannot believe I would come face to face with it. I could not believe it was happening right in front of me. But there it was staring straight at me. I never like the fact that things will get out of control and to feel like my world suddenly made a sudden change. The days I planned would turn out to be a disaster because of one incident.

It happened in the wee hours of the morning. On my way to work and I feel so safe because you are not yet far from the neighborhood. Then there it was in the darkness along the ride, four men declared their evil deed. I was taken aback. I felt like it was just a big joke happening in front of me but it was the dreadful reality. One man got a gun but he did not point it at anyone in particular. Not even to me whom he got to grabbed my bag first. I think I was seeing everything in slow motion. The man took away all of my things. Everything I had that day. The rest of the passengers in the jeep did what they had to do to escape and save themselves.

I wanted to scream for help. I wanted to beg the man to just spare my other belongings. I wanted to run after them as I even saw the four of them running for their escape. I wanted to come after them but I was torn into pieces by fear. Torn if I would scream for help, or just cry helplessly. And there it was fear shrouding my being. I suddenly do not know what to do. I wanted to do something but I was frozen by fear. I was scared. I forgot that our house was just a run away from where I was. I forgot that I would have to run along a bridge just to reach home. I forgot that I was uncomfortable in crossing bridges.
But fear was coming after me and so I ran home. My legs are so wobbly, I did not even think I can walk, but I found myself half-running and half-walking. As I ran home upstairs and called for Mama, the tears of my fear and helplessness burst out. I saw my whole family looking at me with scared and concerned eyes. My Papa, Mama, Ate, my younger brother and younger sister were all wide awake watching me cry and hearing my story. They knew I was always the weak one, I was a big cry baby in the family. As they saw me break down helplessly in front of them they knew I was in pain. I saw their love and concern for me. My Ate who was the strong one scolded me with concern . She told me I could still get back the things that were taken away from me and at least I did not go home drenched in my own blood. My younger brother held me on my shoulders and smoothed my back as I cry but I felt suddenly angry.

My fear turned into anger as I dried my tears. The things that I have earned so hard and cherished were suddenly taken away from me by just a bunch of morons who could not stretch their bones to get a job. I lost my things. The cellphone Papa bought for me when I got my first job was gone. My notebook where I jot down my random thoughts and feelings was also gone. I do not have much of material things to show off but I have much things that I cherished much in my bag that were taken away from me and the fact that I worked so hard for those things were infuriating. Then again I do not have the luxury of time to sulk into things I can never have anymore, to feel hatred to those four bastards who stole my things and to fear for another day of going to work in the wee hours of the morning. As my family and friends showered me with their love and support I know I can move on. It is kind of uncomfortable on telling each in everyone my dreadful story but it help me go on. I found myself smiling and even laughing about it.

I came to realize how less I value my life compared to those people around me. Sometimes we forget the simple things that matter. I realized how lucky I am to have this kind of family and a bunch of friends who are there in times like this. I forgot the fact that I am not really a materialistic person and I am used to not having anything. My Ate is right that I could still get back those things that were taken away from me but not the love and care which were showered to me by the people I cherished.

This is how I got the awful taste of fear.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Running Away


There are times I found myself sighing. Staring at nothing in particular. Suddenly, I felt tired. I realized I'd been busy with things I thought will make me happy. That I thought its all I ever wanted. But life made a sudden turn.

Life showed me I was with the wrong people and place. Every time I try to fit myself in I feel like I'm hurting myself. As much as I would like to stay. I was just being pushed away. I did all the best that I can do. I gave everything that I have but it seems that it is not enough. I don't want to feel tired. Be called a coward because I chose to give up. But I drown in my tears alone. Tried with my own effort and it led me to nowhere. I have no options left but to leave.

But does leaving will make any difference? Am I not going to be haunted with all of these memories? But this is the part where I should run away now. The happiness I long to keep and fought so hard was now eaten by the pain.

So I will run exhaust every energy that I have by running. I will run just to escape the pain. Hoping that you'll come running after me. I was torn between looking back just to see who is behind and staring ahead to see if I will came upon something.But I know that hope would not change the fact that we have reached the end. Hope would not bring us back together.

I did run and I was alone. I carry the burden of the pain. I rewind every memories that just kept dragging me back to the days I can no longer have. I cry hoping you are crying for me too. I let myself be eaten up by the sadness. Still longing for someone that I know will never be mine. I know I was stupid. You can call me crazy then. But just so you know, I run because it is the only way that can save me from this misery. I am sorry I need to escape. I need t do you a favor. I will love myself because we both know this is something you can never do.

And in running away, I found solace in pain. I was numb by the sadness. The tears I cried refreshed my shattered soul. I was loving myself on the way to the finish line.

*with Tatay Martin=D