Friday, April 2, 2010
The One Who is Left Behind
In every step you take everyday there is someone who will be left behind..Like when you leave from work, you leave your loved ones at home or when you ride a jeep you get off and only time will tell if you'll get to get on that jeep again.. Someone who will be left behind and be totally forgotten.
It is hard to believe when you get to be with somebody and then one day they can just throw you away like they don't know you at all. But the most painful part is feeling that you are slowly fading out in the scene until you're totally not there anymore. Like hell.
Maybe I am not totally out of the scene, it just strikes me that somehow, someway you need to grow apart and meet other people. That one day, the laugh you share is not as loud anymore, the moments that you have is replaced, and time is of the essence to be with each other. I don't know if this is just part of me being depressed on the happenings in my life or I just can't accept the fact that one has to move and one has to be left behind.
It sucks that I'm the one who is left behind. It's great that people moved on with life and find what really makes them happy. But seeing you are not part of that happiness is sad. Again, I see people moving and I am stagnant. I know I need to move or the quicksand of hopelessness will pull me down alive. I have to struggle to be myself again.
I need to be the one..
The one who knows how to overcome the ups and downs of life. The one who knows how to lean on herself when there is no one to lean on to. The one who does not cry over pity things. The one who is strong and independent. The one who can conquer the world...
But right now,I am the one who is left behind... I always say that I would rather be the one leaving that be the one who is left behind. In my case I am the one who is left behind. I just find it hard to leave something or someone especially when you become a part of them and they become a part of you. (Or they are a part of you but you are not a part of them..)
Yeah, maybe that's it.I 'm finding it hard to let go and be the one leaving. It's too contradicting. I want to be the one leaving but I cannot do it.
I fear that if I leave, that will be the day I will be totally forgotten or no one will come after me and beg me to come back. I have long for the feeling to be badly needed by someone. That If I go that someone will do whatever takes to have me back. That they will realize that life is worthless without the very nice JOSEPHINE MAULEON. Up to now I am still longing for that day. Again I feel unappreciated, or maybe I am just being MAARTE just what my friend always told me...
I don't know?