Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Earsplitting Sound of Silence

You are alone and you can hear it. You hear a deep ringing sound that is penetrating your ear. It’s so eerie and scary inside your ear that you almost want to hear a loud bang of a firecracker. Listen closely, that was the bizarre sound coming from silence. I never thought it can make a sound like that.

Ever since I was young I found solace in silence. I am the daughter of silence. I seldom complain and I always keep to myself. Sometimes I already think that my parents might suspect that I am autistic. Anyways, as I started school, though I have a seatmate I got over each day just minding my own business. At the end of each grading period, it is the usual comment of teachers describing me as shy, timid, quiet and participate more in class. I excel in school more on written than in orals. Though, I seldom raised a hand on class discussion, I am proud that when a teacher calls me I have the answer. The teacher comments continue up to high school. Still, I do not think my parents bother about it because I do well at school. Silence was my companion.

This is where my hands move along with silence. When word are not enough, my hands wrote my suppressed my feelings. Only the silence hears it.

On my first farthest out of town trip on my own I got to hear the sound of silence. ( I would tell you about this trip on my following blogs). Anyways, this trip was up the chilly town of Benguet. I shared a room with a fellow traveler. The night was so cold and the silence was so deafening. It was so quiet that I feel so eerie already. It was so quiet that I can hear my ear ringing as if complaining to hear something loud to escape the bizarre noise.

At that moment, I knew I already heard the earsplitting sound of silence. It was there all along. But it was so ordinary that no one bothers to listen to it. That night the whistling sound of the pine tree was the only thing battling against the sound of silence.

I found solace in silence…

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