Saturday, March 13, 2010

Breaking The Habit

How can you let go of someone or anything that gives you that extraordinary feeling that no one can ever made you feel? It started just a mere curiosity until it slowly become a habit that without you knowing that it had ruined and devastated your entire soul and self.. A bad habit that is =needed to be break and forget but you find it hard to let go for its the only thing that gives you satisfaction..

Its like love and lust. When you fall in love, you only see what your eyes want to see, hear what your ears want to hear, your heart tells you what to feel, think what your mind wants you to think, among others. You tend to forget the more wonderful things that love has to offer for you caged yourself in a world of selfish love. When you feel the heat of passion and lust that comes along with it, you feel the high and ecstasy you’ve never felt before. That in the end, you didn’t know will leave you empty and shattered. You thought it was the most beautiful thing in the world but sometimes, in the end you’ll realize not all beautiful things bring beautiful consequences. Sometimes you’ll found yourself all alone shattered and disdained in life you thought would always make you on top but then it wasn’t supposed to be that way.

In this life of uncertainty and wickedness, I realized that if you don’t have that enormous faith in God your evil habit would make your soul slowly submerging in the quicksand of hell. Drenching your soul and taking advantage of your weaknesses. Unfortunately and what a pity of me! I haven’t got that great faith in God . Well, I do have faith in God but there’s some fluctuation when my faith was put to test, like breaking this habit of mine. A habit is like a thing. You were like, doing everything just to have that thing but everyday God will make you realize that its not meant to be. But the hard-headed me still was eager to get a hold of it that I believe was meant for me though its not.

Without further beating around the bush, my habit has to be break as soon as possible or else I’ll totally lose myself and someday God will no more hear and heal me. I’ve been too bad and brazen-faced. I learned to realize that a habit was really going to be a bad habit if you became less of your real self and forget those people around you that had shown you a lot of love and concern. You have wasted their existence and efforts, most especially of God.

I knew it’s really time for me to break this habit. I have to do this so God would not be so sad and hurt because of me. I’ve been petrified all this time but I haven’t got that faith to make me hold on and be strong but then I must find it now.

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