Thursday, June 24, 2010


When the people you know suddenly sees you in a way they don't expect you to be. Two things: it is either the like it or loathe it.

I had a recent 'tampo' on my friends about the picture I posted on my FB profile. My friend who photographed me was so proud of that picture. He said I must always dress and looked that way. He was so elated about the comments my picture earned from my friends and random people. Then there was a comment about the editing of the picture. I don't understand it at first but anyways it is about the technical. Then I got a chat message from another friend that my picture is obviously edited and then she goes that my it was not me at all. That my head was just put on that body. I got offended. Then my friend who took the picture left a comment that he did not edit much of it but just the background. There is another comment of apology from the friend who said that wasn't my body. Another comment again that was a reply from my friend's comment who got offended. It was already pissing me off. It was not a big deal to me at all about their comment on the editing but the fact that it was already going to be a big issue annoyed me. I decided to delete the picture, to stop whatever misunderstandings that might erupt.

I admit I was hurt a bit. It was just a picture. I felt that they just don't like it. Is it a big deal that it was edited? Most of the pictures nowadays were edited? I told this sentiment to my other friends, and they said that they can just say they like it or not. I was never used earning praises and people telling that I am beautiful. This picture boost my fading in and fading out self-esteem. But with those comments, I felt that my other friends don't like the changes I am going through. I am still me no matter what. I was thinking that with that picture they think I am not the same old me they used to know. I am me. I was just trying to be better for myself. It is seldom anyway that I try new things to better myself. I am hurt by the feelings those comments gave me. It is not that I am too over-reacting about the editing issue it is about the fact that they don't want to embrace the changes I am going through. It is like it is not so me to be like that. It is like I am not worthy to change.

I n the end, they felt I was really hurt and they did apologize. I am happy again.
Still, am I beautiful? Like it or loathe it?

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