Lie To Me

So we lie. Everybody does. We need to tell lies sometimes. There is a point that we all have to hide the truth so not to hurt someone, to make everything better or just to make our lives less complicated.

I am gullible. I tend to believe everything that people say to me. So most of the time, I do not know how to distinguish the truth from a lie. A joke from a real feeling. A tell-tale from the reality. I think that is a good thing but my Mama said that is bad for me. People might take advantage of me or just used me because I am so good at believing someone in an instant.

I guess I really do not have an issue when it comes to lying. It is just that we need to lie for as they say that the truth hurts. But You know, even though I am a believer on anything, I know when a person is really lying. I just feel it. The good thing about is I do not confront it. The person who is lying is just eaten up by his guilt because I take the lie truthfully. Most of the time they say I am stupid or just a moron who just believe on whatever people say to me. For that I get hurt, I cry or I tend to feel happy some times.

But the truth about lying is not with the person you are lying to but with yourself. My Papa always said that those people who lie only make a fool of themselves. They think that they are getting their way around on some stupid person because of lying but the hurtful truth is that they only lie to themselves.

So I really don't have an issue on people lying to me or people lying at all. They just want to believe also in certain things that will make their reality feel better. The sad truth is, to achieve that they have to forget honesty. It is good, you can lie to me. I can listen to it as long as I can believe. As long as I can accept and understand it. Just lie to me.

After all I am not scared of being lied to, what will hurt me is not being able to believe again..

Choice

Sometimes there is a point where you have to choose. I believe that everything we do and we chose defines the life that we live.

I sometimes wonder how different is the life that I live among other people in this world. I was sometimes at awe on how others get to the life they have. How their choices brought them o where they are now. And there are also time, I am saddened by the reaity on how their lives turned out because of what they had chosen.

They say I'm choosy but maybe because I learned to weigh things and see my choices outcome before I finally decide. It may mean that I don't risk it all but not exactly. I think I am lucky with the way I live, because I don't get to choose most of the time. It is because I know what contentment is and just lately learned the joy of accepting.

There are also experiences that affect the choices we made in life. In the end it is how we stick to what we choose or let it shape us to become a much better person for future choices to make.

Acceptance

Sometimes I think there is something wrong with me....

Sometimes I care too much. I care too much in a way that they think i am already interfering with their lives. the more I wanted then to be on the right track and to be away from danger the more they think I am over ruling everything in their lives. But the truth is I care too much when nobody really cares in return.

Sometimes I bother too much on things that don't really matter. But since I wanted to understand and make people understand in return, I always crack my head open on why certain things happen. why do people have to do this and that? Why do we have to complicate things? Why do we have to come and then leave in the process? i bother too much for other people that most of the time I forgot the things that really bothers myself.

Sometimes I believe too much that when the unexpected moment that things weren't the same way anymore, I was left shaken. My world suddenly turned upside down, all the while the things that you have embraced to believe were all lies and were meant to be shattered.

But I have learned these sometimes of mine were becoming a habit, that is too odd to be normal. I remembered one of my friend who told me that he does not trust the nature of a human anymore. I think that was sad. To no longer have faith in human anymore, But maybe he is right all along. Better face the harsh reality of the weakness of human than to go through believing when in the end it will all be nothing.

I guess I don't really have to understand, care or believe in too much but just accept...it is less painful...

On a Market Day

I can't remember the last time I went with my mother to the market. So I decided o go with Mama this Sunday. It felt like the old days were I hold on to Mama as we roam around the busy market buying all those stuffs we needed. I remembered my wide-eyed awe to the different people working in and out of the market.

I found myself still having that wide-eyed fascination to the people from all walks of life roaming around and busy to make both ends meet. I felt like a little child again. Our city’s market has been transformed into a much likeable and clean place to shop around. I no longer felt icky when walking on the moist and dirty part of the wet section. Everything is in place. My Mama just tugged me along to the different sections of the market. Buying food is a breeze. The meat and fish, vegetables and those dry goods are place in each section of their own.

Anyways, my habit of looking into the faces of different people was exercised on this trip to the market. Let me tell you the scenes I witnessed on a two-hour stay at our market...

Nothing much has change on a busy day at the market. I still saw those kids who were sometimes barefoot selling their plastic bags for Php2.00. "Ate, bili ka ng plastic,oh!" they would shout but sound like almost begging to those people to buy their plastic. I get to buy one from a mother with her daughter in tow who was selling calamansi. They said their thank you to me and even ask me to buy some calamansi...

I found a guy sleeping soundly under a vegetable stall. Despite the sweltering heat and the noise of the people around he found time to take a nap...

As Mama buys some 'bangus" an old man came rushing on my side with his pushcart. On it was what they call a 'banyera' full of fish. Hs skin was burnt by the sun and he has earned some gray hair. He was a bit small for an average man. I saw him struggling as he unloaded the banyeras to the stall near me. I was not able to see his face but I know he is too old with that kind of work...

As the plastic I am carrying gets heavy, Mama told me to just stay put in one place and I'll just wait for her to go back for me. I said no. I found that I am still scared to get lost and not to be with Mama on a busy market day. To think I was already 23 years old and it is not that scary to get lost among the crowd...

I miss doing this. I was thinking of going with Mama again on one of her trip to the market. I get to observed those people from all walks of life and think of what kind of life they are living....

Cheesy

I may be corny or you can call me cheesy when you’ve read this post. Then no matter what this post will be here.

I got excited on meeting my friend again and this movie was a perfect time to meet up. I was caught up in the movie to think I was in a middle of an emotional dilemma with my best bud. On top of that, I just got out from work with a hungry stomach.

The story has a simple plot but with this kind of love portrayed in the movie, it has always been a fantasy for every single girl like me. Sarah Geronimo’s character as Roann Sanchez was totally relatable. She was the No-Boyfriend-Since-Birth girl who has all the love and support of her family. With her wisdom that “True Love Waits”, it was unexpected to met someone like Eric Rodriguez played by Gerald Anderson. The only son of the President of the Republic of the Philippines, who studied in the States and knew nothing but the good times.

Roann showed Eric the real world far from the life he had learned to live. It has nothing to do with girls, bar hopping and drinking with his buddies at all which were the things he knew how to do.

An unlikely meeting, brought the opposite persons together. Roann work as an NGO worker and she was surprised that Eric was their guest in the event instead of his mother. It was an embarassing moment when she accidentally bumped her face on the door to welcome him with the bouquet of flowers.

Eric suddenly found himself lost in Roann's ordinary world. The President, his father assigned him in an immersion with Roann in a remote province sponsored by the foundation. As they argue and irritate each other they were not expecting that love will come their way.

Eric found himself falling for the girl way out of his league. Roann in return surprisingly found the love she had been waiting to a guy way out of her reach. They tried to hide it but the sparks cannot be denied. Their realationship has some flaws with Eric's high-profiled life and Roann's insecurities. But their love triumphed amidst the obstacles.

Their scenes gave me the "kilig" I've never felt in a long time in romance movies. I was not expecting the chemistry they have ignited in the screen. It is not the typical romance movies wherein they put kissing and intimate scenes to capture the audience. Just the goo-gooe eyed with each other and their holding hands were enought to send butterflies in my stomach.

Fall in love and get caught in their love bug..<3

SOAP:The Last Slip and Fall

I was always inside that cold, dark corner. Sometimes moist and sometimes dry. I was there when you need me. I was just there. There, in the bathroom. I was the small, soft and slippery soap. When you touch me I was happy. I get to be with you and close to you. But our normal day won't be usual without me slipping away in your hands. So that was our usual day. An ordinary day but it was my moment that I will keep. My moment is in every time that I slip and fall out of your hands and you pick me up carefully. I felt I was cherished and I felt you needed me. So the usual moment goes on. I slip, fall and you use me again. But that moment of every time, you don't know that you take the very best of me. Gradually, I was losing my very self along the way. In that every slip and fall, I was fading away. Then the day came that I was almost not there anymore. Again, I slip away in your hands. Sometimes, I wonder if you intentionally do that or you are just clumsy or maybe I was really that slippery. So this slip and fall moment is different this time. It was painful. Along my fall, I was slashed in half on a sharp edge of a tube of body wash. I was not whole anymore when I hit the cold, moist floor. Reality was there. Guess it was always there and I just have to have a hard slip and fall to face it. I saw and felt that I was broken easily. The water are my tears as it runs through your body along with me as you still use me. I think that was the last piece of me. The last of me that you can hold on to. It was my adieu to our slip and fall moments. I was already broken. You can always find some(thing) else...

Green Means Go

I just can't believe this is happening. Sometimes I think this is too much too handle. But you let me go just like that. I was left hanging, cracking my brain open hoping to find an answer. Did I do something wrong? But in the end I was left unanswered. I tried to reach out but things were left unsaid for you chose not to hear me.

I kept on shouting to the wrong people. They are not supposed to hear but I got no choice. They can lend me an ear when you turn a deaf ear. Through it all, I knew this is going to happen but I guess I was unprepared for it. I am trying to be happy for myself as you chose to do the same. I am letting you do it on your own. I am letting you be. But I really am so clueless what happened. I guess these were all meant to happen.

I got no regrets. I am yours. I am still here as I said even if you don't need me. I must try to move on for there is no way to go but to move forward. All must go. The lights are already green. It was in green all along. It was already telling me to go.

I am dragging my feet, you know. I don't really want to run for I was even finding it hard to walk away from you. But you had let me go, so I must do the same.