Monday, January 11, 2010

waiting reality

After some time,I saw him again at the most unexpected moment at the most unexpected time. I admit that i'd been thinking about what if he would come my way one of these days or any other day. And I guess I finally believe that imagination seems to be reality, as my imagination turns into big time reality. I sa the tuRON I thought I'd never see again. It was the shock of my life! We were on the line for this free movie; the last full show and it was long leading to a balsony. Then I was just on the line with my friends when I turned my back around, there he was!tuRON! I felt my heart jumping like crazy as if it wanted to get out of my ribcage. In short, I felt nervous. It was just a plain accidental glance and I quickly turned the other way. I didn't lookk to where he was going anyway. At that moment, I hate what I was feeling and acting. I just happened to look at that way and there he was, still thin and I think I saw a peircing on his chin and to top it all of, he was with a girl smaller than me with long hair. I didn't tell my friends that I saw him and maybe they couldn't tell also that I was looking stupid and uneasy that moment. As we went inside for the movie, I was just staring blankly at the screen, with my mind still filled of tuRON and I felt stupid. All I could think of was tuRon,half of the movie. No matter how hard I convinced myself that it wasn't him, it was really him, because I would never be acting like that and feeling stupid at that very moment. I managed to focus on the movie half-way to the end. when I reached home,late at night, tuRON was still inside my head . If only I could crack my head open and let the thought of him out of my stupid head, I would! I really didn't know what to feel??? Bitter? Nervous? Hurt? Excited? Flabbergasted? Then as I went to sleep to finally call it a day, I wanted to cry. I really deel like crying, I swear. I felt that there's something inside me that I must let out. But the heck! I can't even shed a drop oe tears. My eyes were in drougth already. Maybe I've shed all the tears I needed to for tuRON. Suddenly, I hate that mall, It's as if I don't want to go there anymore. I was getting paranoid. Before, I really longed and wanted to see tuRON but now I wished I won't see him anymore, that I won't lay my eyes upon him anymore. When I went back to the movies at the same mall, I really crossed my fingers and prayed hard that he won't come my way that day. And he didn't come my way that day, really. My friends say that it was destiny because after sometime tuRON came my way. But for me I can say that it's a God given sign, that I must stop putting tuRON as the man for me. I'd been waiting long enough and it's already the end of the line. It's enough of loving someone who really can't love you back or even remember someone like me who loved him once in his life. I'd been waiting for reality and it finally came.


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