Just when do you stop and when do you have to go. How do you know put your faith into something or someone who has left you with nothing but devastation? Just when would be right time to say you’ve had enough. To me losing faith is the most scary thing that could happen to oneself. When the time comes you no longer believe in everything or anything life has to offer you. Its like the time you put yourself on hold or like the time you don't want to feel anymore. I hate the feeling that I can no longer give my best to someone because I have lost my faith on it. I was suddenly tired and everything I do is half-hearted. I know it wasn't supposed to be that way because it wasn't that way before. I was betraying myself when I know I got more to give.
The feeling of pain can be the one main reason one has lost its faith into something. There would be so much hurting and lots of tears t dry the moment you lost the feeling you build to believe in someone. And that moment when you're in pain you get weak and feel so exhausted. You realize how many times and how hard you have tried to cling on to the very thin hope of holding on to something but nothing was returned. It's not that you are waiting for something in return but at least something. But I guess I was used of not receiving anything in return or just a simple gesture is fine.
Anyways, I had this thing on holding on to that little something, when I was close to giving up and something would happen to make me hope far more than before. A little something is all it took to make me turn my back and stay in my faith into someone. So again it is a stupid thing to do but these things are the signs that we hope for because we don't want to give u just yet. Yearning for something that might change everything and that after all it was all worth it in the end.
Then life was unfair, the very sign that you hold on to was nothing in the very beginning. With your best effort and taking those chances was all just a climax of nonsense. In the very edge of your glory you fell in the abyss of hopelessness. In the end, pain and tears were the only ones who were there all along. You were running along out of breathe hoping to reach the finish line which turned out to be a dead-end. And your faith in someone is just a tiny droplet of water which was not enough to quench the thirst of your exhaustion. The light that you see at the end of the tunnel seems to far for you to get into.
So some chose to sulk and be stagnant. What is the use of believing again and taking chances when it would all be put into waste in the end? I know it hurts and I know sometimes I would like to die now than die so many times because of making my faith whole again. But I get to be brave and be strong. I may have lost myself also but I still have a chance to find my way.I was there and all I have to do is get out of it. So what if I was hurt and I am not afraid to be weak and cry either. It makes me a better person. The faith I now hold on to does not need any signs or little things just to make me embrace it. Th true sense of it is just believing and taking the risks. No matter what people say. No matter what life gave you. No matter how painful it is just trust with the faith that somehow, somewhere, someone or something will all make it worthwhile. No regrets just simply putting your faith into it.
And it was just like putting your faith back to yourself...
And someone would put their faith in you...
No comments:
Post a Comment