Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Coming Back

It is hard for me to leave unless I am pushed away. When everybody is telling me to go I opt to stay. When there are no more reasons left to stay I still find my way to still be there. I try to find the good things in every situation for I don't want to feel regrets in the end. So you see by the the time I finally decided to leave, you already got the best of me. I can say I have exhausted everything.

I did find the good in goodbye. The light in leaving someone. It may take all my strength to get up and leave but I did. I was glad. I was suddenly proud of myself. I finally found the pride they are talking about. The self-worth that you didn't see. It become different though. I was not mad at leaving. I was just sad that it had to be this way. I was sad and clueless. I keep cracking my head on why do we ave to part when we should have just talk about it from the very beginning. But I guess both parties were sacred of the outcome or is it just me. There is something left unsaid and it was just left like that.The world was suddenly quiet and empty without that someone. I was thinking if you do feel the sadness, the emptiness that I feel but I guess you did not. Or maybe at the back of my head, wishing that you did...

With this kind of situation, is there a way f going back and staying the same. I have conditioned my mind that there is no coming back and tat we will totally out of each other's way. But then again, they are right you'll be coming back. Th world is alive again and I think I'm glad that what I expected (for the worst) did not happen. So it is true also that everything wold never be the same, I tried to remain the same but I found myself crying for the moment I can never have again. For the moment that was left undone. We are here. Back as we were before. But something has changed. Totally not the same. Still, it is a good difference.

To understand and accept that there are times that we need to leave so we can come back. To stay so we can learn to wait. And to change so we can understand...

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