Tuesday, September 21, 2010


I always have a huge or wide imagination. I think too much. I ponder too long. I just bugged myself too much of everything.

Maybe I dream too much. In the end it was just an imagination full of expectations.

When I was a kid, I always thought I am some princess taken away from my real parents. I was imagining that one day, when I got home from school; some black limousine with the seal of a royal family will be there at the busy sidewalk near our house. As I came of age, I imagine I would be recruited in the CIA and would be a femme fatale spy. I even saw myself as a Broadway singer or a prima ballerina. I become everyone in my head.

But then it just stays stuck in my big wide world of my imagination. It never came out in the real cruel world. I learned from one of my dear friend that "imagination seems reality". The gullible in me, readily believe that. I always tend to believe on the things and sayings most especially if I haven’t heard it before. I started to imagine a lot about life.

And as I grow older I imagine a lot of love…

I imagine that this guy will soon would be kneeling before me and will confess his undying love. That one day he can no longer stand it whenever he passes my way, and would swept me into his arms with a lingering kiss on my mouth. That one day my smiles would be the only things he misses and long each day. That one day my love would and my presence would be the only thing that matters to him. But that one day does not really matter.

For that one day never came…

Even though that day never came to my expectations, I still imagine that one day it will become reality. I hold on to that saying. This time as I try to imagine, I add up my expectations. I tend to think that my imagination would be reflecting in my expectations. But as my imaginations are failure my expectations are my nightmare. I hold on to the time that it will be there right in front of my eyes. The day I longed so much to happen will come to reality. But life is always harsh, when I am almost there I would suddenly come crashing down. It is like a precious thing that you fought so hard to keep but it will be taken away from you just like that.

I dreamed too much, it hurts too much to see it’s never going to come true at all. I imagine too much that reality never came. I expect too much that the true world sucks already for me.

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