I remembered everything. Nothing was erased. It was kept in me. It set met free. It made me weak. It got me stronger. It made me brave. It helped me carry on.
I remembered the time when I cried like a child in the middle of the night, that I could hardly breathe. I remembered waking up everyday fighting a losing battle. I was forcing my heart, squeezing every beat but it was already struggling to survive. I remembered dragging my feet to walk away from someone, making every heavy step until I can finally ran free. I never knew that I could endure that much of a pain again, and almost drying my tear ducts again. I remembered telling myself to be bitter and take all the hurt inside until my whole body felt numb.
Finally, I remembered seeing myself triumphant on overcoming that period in my life. I remembered it is not myself to be mad and held on to some grudge over the pain that will eventually subside. I remembered that forgetting is for the coward. I was able to see each day because I was able to reminisce on the old days. I was able to stand again and learn that in every pain I have dealt with, I was braver to gave it all again.
I remembered meeting new friends, real persons that I was able to speak out my mind and reflect my true feelings. I got to enjoy the long talks and silly laughs over cups of coffee. I remembered that if it is meant to be, time will lead you to the special ppeople that you are meant to share those endless laughs, bitter tears and silly antics. I remembered getting away for awhile with my precious friends and enjoy the spontaneity of life. Being able to escape and just embrace the moment I was facing. I was so happy being able to ran away somewhere else and just let loose. I forgot the uptight side of me. I got to be with different people and remembered the moment how amazed and overwhelmed I was by the feeling of being a trusted and cherished friend. I was so grateful on encountering a variety of people and still got to keep those who kept me real and grounded.
I remembered the long walks at night, the throwing of silly punchlines, the warmth of holding hands and tight hugs, and the sweet kisses. I remembered hearing out and listening through my heart. I remembered to stay as I am no matter how cruel the world gets and no matted how difficult it would be. I always knew that kindness goes a long way, that being sensitive helps broken heart and heal a weakened soul.
I will always remember even if time erases and memories gone. As people come and go, as I was left alone, I will always remember by my heart.