Broken to pieces; we all were at some point. Some people chose to heal. Some just stayed into pieces. There are some who chose to break other people. Some chose to fix others. I can say I am the later part.
I know how hard it is to pick yourself when you're already in pieces. The most difficult part is of there is no one there to be with you so you can be whole again. I'd been there and I'd done that. And I chose to fix and heal others. Even though some people are hard to put back together or worst they were not meant to be put together. Sometimes you do not need to fix them at all. You just have to help them realized the point to put oneself back as a whole again. For that, I can be the one who will be there. I guess I love the broken ones or I am just a magnet to them.
Indeed, I am proud to say that I am a fixer. I have talked about fixing before and I can say I am pretty good at it. But the down part is like what you feel when you get that thing already fixed; they will be gone before you know it. You will be content on watching them from a distance or from a very far horizon. You're like a fond mother seeing your child braving the life you know he deserves in flying colors. You will find yourself like an anonymous sponsor smiling amidst the proud crowd of the person who just blew them away with a performance. In time being proud is all that you can feel and be for yourself.
I feel elated that somehow I had influenced someone. Somehow I had made a big difference in someone's life. In some way, I was able to fill up a void that's been breaking someone apart. Somewhere I was able to stand by someone when everybody else had walked away from them. In some time, I was able to share a moment that maybe remembered forever.
In time, I would feel overjoyed over something that made a purpose in my life. As time goes by, I would feel like a mother letting goof her child who is ready in his own. It would be like at the back row seat of his great performance; unnoticed. Oftentimes, I would wonder why things like that would happen. But it is just the way it is. Life goes on and we had to get a move on. It is not like they owe you something. Yet, I am expecting something from it. I am left confused but not shattered by the fact that I am they drifted away. Or maybe it's just me feeling alone.
It should be that when the broken ones that you've put together as a whole again, it would finally seep in. I thought I would be good as new again just like what they are. But once you separate from them, you will feel and remember something.
It was me; the real one. I thought I was able to survived it. Somehow I was able to. I was able to feel them as they turn from a broken one to a whole one at last. Yet, I was just escaping and I was it the whole time. I am confused because I was it all along; the broken one...