-Different Horizon-

A typical, love story...


*Yesterday, I wasn't able to accomplish anything. BULL*#@%! Anyways, I was close to crying again while me and Jana was talking about another friend who is Tony. I told her I'm happy whenever Tony and I are together. It's so much fun and simple. That I am proud that the moment we shared is nothing compared to his new set of friends. But Jana said, what if he does not have a choice at all but to be with me. I suddenly got hurt about that idea. Then I thought maybe his new friends are telling something bad about me. Jana said that Tony and I are very much unlike each other. I don't want to entertain the idea that Tony does not find me as a good friend. That I am not really the friend he longs for. Either way, Jana told me that above anything else I made a mark on his life. I told myself not to get too close to someone.

It's hard to leave and move. I also got to realize one line I heard on TV today.

That maybe it's meant to be that way. One day you're so good with each other, the other day you won't be anymore.

Why does it have to be like that? From the longest time of my friendship with Tony, he seldom took care of me but when he does it's already a big thing for me. The seldom the gesture, the most instant it was done, the more I appreciate it. I don't want to count the things I've done for him because all of it, I love doing it. Maybe if someone read this, they might think I'm in love with him which everybody thinks I am. Maybe I am. Somewhere in my heart, I love him but that's just it. In the deep side of my heart there's the thought that won't bloom on the surface. Maybe he's like that too. It's just that at the moment we have each other, fate gave us a different horizon to see. It's there but I know, I can't face the thought of it. Because I just love the way we are. No commitment, no fuss, no responsibility. I think I'm contented with that. (Stupid me!)


<* Not necessarily on a noted day.This is the story of Pam.>

Issues They're Talking ABout

Let me try giving my views on the current issues in and around the metro..

I don't know what to blog when I realized there are a lot of issues circling the airwaves nowadays. From the campaign to make Noynoy stop smoking, to the 2010 CENSUS, from Willie's indefinite leave at Wowowee and many more.

I did not know it was already time for the ever hardworking teachers to check how much are population had grown. Last time, I check we are already hitting 80 million. Back in college, there were a lot of closely knit houses near our campus. We had one project wherein we need to mingle with the community. One of the group in our class chose the barangay near the campus. When they did their ocular check, they found out that in one house, five families were sharing the amenities. That was I think back in 2005. What more in 2010? The teachers taking the grueling job for the CENSUS 2010 brave the heat of the El Nino and will have to meet the quota of 300 household just to get their meager allowance of Php11,000. Our house was already counted. We already had the pink sticker on our door.

Another hot issue is the arrogance and power tripping of Wowowee host Willie Revillame. He suddenly went berserk on Entertainment commentator Jobert Sucaldito's views on him making fun of his contestants. Which is really true anyway. He makes the people beg for money making them look stupid. He has this arrogance that people should follow whatever he say if want money. Then comes his statement that he will resign if ABS-CBN Management would not kick Sucalsdito out. How could he threaten people like that? Yeah, he is famous but that does not give him the power to command the people who put him to where he is now. In the end, he'll se that not everyone is fond of him. In the end, he is going to be alone because of his arrogance.

Let's go to our soon going to be proclaimed president Noynoy Aquino. It was suddenly a fuss on him not trying to quit smoking.It is his health anyway. If its his decision not to quit then so be it. they are just making this an issue. Before it was his intellectual capacity and now his habit of smoking. If smoking won't get in the way on how he rules over our country, then its no big deal. Those people who are feeling angels because they quit smoking just like that are hypocrites. Admit it, they also struggle on quitting it. maybe Noynoy does not see himself quitting smoking yet. I don't smoke but I have nothing against people who smoke.

Getting Under your Skin

I ended this week with a lot of annoyance and releasing of this annoyance. There are a lot of people who were already getting under my skin. But then again, I juts let it pass. I do pity them because they don't know that they were already annoying the people around them with their attitudes. The fact that they have to be really attention-grabbers just to be noticed. In short, they are "papansin". Some think they were God's gift to the crowd so you will have to focus your attention to them. They think they are being smart or cool by getting the attention with their stupid moves but they are not. They are merely making themselves looking so stupid.

I think people who are 'papansin', can be group into two. Those who are having the effort to get notice by their irritable moves that they don't know they are merely morons with what they are doing. The other one is I think the most irritable. These are the people who think they are the ones you need to focus on. These people are airheads already. They think they are the VIPs that you must not ignore them or you missed half of your life. Duh!?

At the end, I don't mind these kind of people. At one moment they irritate and annoy me but when I just let out those bad feelings towards them, I am fine. I don't let them get under my skin the whole day. I just have to accept the fact that they are like that. The sad part is they might lose the people around them with that kind of attitude. Not all people can tolerate them and understand them the whole time. Everybody has a different tolerance level and patience when it comes to that kind of 'papansin' attitude. And it is pitiful, that they have to be 'papansin' just to be seen and be notice.

Think before you speak!

I Saw Myself

I saw my two other personas...

I saw a nun today on my way home.

It was back in high school that I asked for a sign if I was going to be a nun. It was in our baccalaureate mass that my sign came. There was a big image of Mother Mary on the stage during the mass. After the communion, there was announcement. They were calling those who have heard the call of the Lord. Those who are willing to offer their hearts and lives to the glory of the Lord. I grew up in a simple household; with simple things contented on what we have. I knew in my heart if I pursue the path of the Lord, I am going to be happy. I will never fear and be in pain. But then , I realized that I was finding an escape from the cruel world. I can say I am already matured emotionally and mentally but I was still naive about the new world that I will enter in college. I was scared that I was thinking of getting a peaceful path. My close friends knew that I thought of entering the convent but my parents don't. I think I was just at awe on how someone can offer her whole being to the glory of the Lord. I am open to challenges. I always admire those priest and nuns I came to passed by in my everyday lives. I am proud to feel in my heart that in my past, I dreamed of becoming one with Lord. I am one with the Lord. He never left when most of the time I did leave Him. Who knows my path might suddenly took a big turn and make my sign a reality...^_^

I saw Pablo Neruda in MRT on my way home yesterday.

It's the MRT's Berso sa Metro. They also have this in LRT. Pablo Neruda is a Chilean writer and politician (1904-1973).

"If suddenly you forget me do not look for me,for I shall already have forgotten you". (If You Forget me)

Back in college I got glued on reading his poems that struck my aching heart back then. It was full of emotions wrapped in such lovely words. I always love poetry. I love how such unfathomed meanings were kept in there that you will have to read; more than reading between the lines. I got to hide my innermost, hurtful feelings in poetry. All the pain, the joy and heartaches that I'd been through was trapped inside there. I wanted it to be released on the person who will read it. I wanted it to touch lives and pinch the hearts. I hope I can be a famous poet if not a photographer. I went on pursuing a career in journalism to touch lives by my words and open minds by my opinions. Aside from the fact that writing become my outlet. I always wanted to try painting or just anything but I always went back to my first love: writing. When I can no longer cry, laugh or die, I write...
Right now, I blog..

Still Single..

Everyone makes a fuss suddenly as I changed my relationship status on Facebook. There was pandemonium and everyone went berserk. It is the middle of the night when I just thought of changing my status. Maybe I am tired of seeing that Single status on my profile page.

As I changed my post, one friend commented that she like it and my best friend followed a comment that I was just being 'epal'. I then went to bed and think about what will my changed status post will look like. I know most of them will find it unbelievable and some will be curious who will it be. They wish.

So after a good night sleep and eating my breakfast, I checked out my Facebook profile. As expected, comments poured in like rain. Most of them were surprised for I'd been single for a long time. My closest friends were clueless because I am not telling them someone who might be the one. It is so funny! There were comments like: 'for real?', 'who's the lucky man?', and so on so forth. I am also touched because I think most of my friends wanted me to be with the guy who deserves me. The one who will really swept me off my feet and who will be there for me. I think there will come a time for that as I always pray for it anyway.

Still, people always made a fuss if you are in a relationship but when you are single they don't care at all. It's like when you are single, you are like a poor puppy that no one would think of buying.

Happiness does not mean having that someone who can give you joy. Instead, it is having someone to share your happiness with. And to that someone who is willing to share my happiness, I'm willing to let you in..Be my lucky man,hehehe...^_^

At Home on a Weekend

This is a solid proof that I no longer have enough money to explore the world and get on an adventure. I get to be my old self again. A certified homebody. I get to earn a lot of sleep and ate properly at home.

But being at home on a weekend gave me a lot of things to do also and thoughts to ponder.

Last week started well that continued into a lot of dramas. There was a lot of fuzz at my new work. Almost everyone is having a hard time coping. Some of them already left for good. Even my closest friend who dragged me into applying is already giving up. I don’t know what to feel. I am having a hard time also but then again I was thinking of making this new job work out for me. For I told myself that this would be my last try on accepting calls, if it does not work I’m going to let go. We managed to get through the weekend as we took our first calls along with our complaints here and there. It was suddenly a new world for us: virgins or non-virgins. I think this weekend was meant to get me relax and have enough rest. I am so thin already, anyway.

As Saturday came, I got to talk to my previous coach and we catch up on each other. I suddenly became a love adviser to her. I found it surprising that I got to give good advice even tough I’ve never been into a relationship. It felt good that you get to ease someone’s heartaches and confusion just by giving those advices. Still, at the end of the day, my advice would be worthless because it’s up to them to live out what I told them or follow their heart. We all know that the end of this is: the heart always won. Love makes us stupid people. You know in your mind that doing those things makes you so stupid yet because you love that person dearly, stupidity becomes you.

I cried the night I came to bed last Saturday. I just felt like crying. I cried because I suddenly felt happy and thankful despite the confusion. I felt contented. Amazingly, I just realized at that very moment I am so happy. Thanks a bunch Lord.

Sunday came and it is still spent on sleeping. I was thinking of attending the anniversary party of my new work but then laziness get in the way. Another thought about love came also. Am I scared of letting love in? Because of this thought, I dreamt about some guys that came into my life. Those who did not let me in and those I let in without strings attached. All I know is that I am happy. I always pray to God that whoever comes or whatever comes I just want to be ready and worthy of it.

Love. Life. The Weekends. ^_^

The Outside..

"The Outside" Taylor Swift I didn't know what I would find When I went looking for a reason, I know I didn't read between the lines And, baby, I've got nowhere to go I tried to take the road less traveled by But nothing seems to work the first few times Am I right? [Chorus:] So how can I ever try to be better? Nobody ever lets me in I can still see you, this ain't the best view On the outside looking in I've been a lot of lonely places I've never been on the outside You saw me there, but never knew I would give it all up to be A part of this, a part of you And now it's all too late so you see You could've helped if you had wanted to But no one notices until it's too Late to do anything [Repeat Chorus] So how can I ever try to be better? Nobody ever lets me in I can still see you, this ain't the best view On the outside looking in I've been a lot of lonely places I've never been on the outside