Indifferent

Today is the moment of truth. Today we decide for the future. Today we see what will become of the bright tomorrow that we always longed for. I wished I can be part of this defining moment of my beloved Philippines. But unfortunately, I am not.

My father was pestering me and my old enough siblings to go ahead and register since last year. We won over our father and no one registered. The moment the local registration started, my feet longed to be on the line and exercise my right as I come of age. I know that this is a great privilege to do something worthy for your country. But again laziness got in the way.

Then there comes a moment that I loss my faith in my countrymen and my country itself. That as much as I wanted to exercise my right to vote and give my country a worthy leader, I did not. I just stayed home and get enough sleep rather than waste my time on the long line of registration. I know this is such a selfish statement to say and this is not the right thing to say. I think I loss confidence on the maturity of my countrymen on choosing the good and dignified leader for them. On choosing a leader, Filipinos just based their criteria on the lengthy commercials, the famous celebrity endorsers, on lavish giveaways during campaign periods and many more.

As political turmoil, government controversies and heart wrenching catastrophes turned our country upside down, my nation’s people has been reborn.

I knew that this time I am proud of those people who stand up and cast their vote for the leader who can make the bleak future brighter. (Again, I wished I was also one of the people who had that blue ink on their finger). This is the start of something new. I was perplexed that the Election Day was so peaceful. I was used hourly news flash showing violence on some part of the country during election days. But again, as they say, change is inevitable. Filipinos already see the vital factor of casting their votes and giving it to the person who is worth it.

All I hoped for is that I would no longer loss faith in my country and my countrymen. In the first place, I have no right because I am not there in the precincts molding the future of my country.

Our fate lies in our hands. Let s vote for tomorrow not for today.

To our future leaders show us that you’re worthy enough for your countrymen. Be a Filipino for the Filipinos.

The Loneliest Person I Know-SPLENDER

You wanna feel you're never walking
You see your feet from off the ground
And when you leave there's no one talking
You slowly breathe and look around

I know you're the loneliest person I know
Just a flag in the wind that won't blow
Just a tear rolling down the window

You cut your lip and now you're freaking
Another friend becomes a foe
You try to leave but they offer candy
Another time you won't say no

Well, I know you're the loneliest person I know
Just a flag in the wind that won't blow
Just a tear rolling down the window

You see that I know you're the loneliest person I know
Just a blade in the grass that won't grow
Just a hand holding on to let go

Time is a train...
Time is a train...
Leading you nowhere...
Leading you nowhere

Time is a train
I feel the same
Leading you nowhere
Leading you nowhere yeah

A second page you reach a chapter
You're on the phone but no one's there
Another thing you can't keep after
Another time you're left alone

I know you're the loneliest person I know
Just a flag in the wind that won't blow
Just a tear rolling down the window

You see that I know you're the loneliest person I know
Just a blade in the grass that won't grow
Just a hand holding on to let go

You see that I know you're the loneliest person I know
Just a fly living in the back row
Just a slap in the face that won't show yeah

And I can do nothing about it
And I can do nothing about it

Just the Way You are..

The irritation is gone. I just love just the way you are...

It is just so confusing sometimes but I know we are the best of friends. It is very wrong to expect too much from someone. I just have to learn to accept the fact and this fact makes our friendship stay stronger. What makes us opposite is what makes us unique. This also what keeps us together. That would be forever.

These days that kept us apart makes our friendship grow fonder and I like that. I get to be with myself and be on my own. The advices I get it just fits me. I need to keep myself away just to see how far would you go to follow me. And I know just by you being close to me, holding my hand out of nowhere and letting me kiss you on your cheek, are just your way of showing me how you miss me. I guess I am just being overly dramatic. I love it when I tell you about boys I meet and you give such a brotherly advice. That makes me happy.

I would end this by thanking my new friend on giving me a comforting hug before I go home from work..

Also to my shobe, on making me kiss him on his cheek as I finally go home ...

Bothered on You not being bothered

Yesterday, I was a bit irritable or maybe you can call that tampo...

I hate that it is happening again because this was the very reason of my depression. My depression that you just chose to shrugged off. I hate that I am feeling this because I know you won't even bother to feel unless I forced it to you. But what can I do, if I say it nothing will happen. I would just be so pathetic and I knew you hate drama. I had then realized that I cannot expect more of you when you can expect the most from me. But why am I expecting still from you?

It always bothers me that you do not bother at all. That in everyday that I bother myself how are you doing, or are you even bothering to think of me I always get scared. I’m scared to know that I do not even cross your mind or even worry about me. I do not know why I am so attached to you. It is enough to say that you are my friend and I just gave a part of me to you in everything I do.

When I need something, I even begged you to do it for me. But when you need something, in a flash, even if I would die doing it I am there.

I am not complaining, I just want attention again. I just don’t want to feel that I’m cherishing you more than ever but you are not. Having that feeling is like losing my faith on our friendship.

But with just one “YES”, that you assured me, all my tampos are gone..

“BE MY BESTFRIEND AND I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER :D”

“I will do the same”

10 things I Hate about You

"Oh, give me a man who is man enough to give himself only to the woman who is worth him. If that woman was me, I would love him alone and forever." (from the movie Casanova)

10 things i happen to hate to know about (some)guys

NOTE: This list is what I happened to know about guys. I don’t care what you think about it but this blog is open to violent comments if you do have some…=) it’s just the way I see it. And if I’m wrong I dare guys to prove me wrong. I still hope on finding my Prince Charming someday, (not Shrek..)

1. Guys do have expectations! (They have lots of it..)

2. Guys do kiss and tell (them and their big mouth.)

3. Guys are all Casanovas! (they tell you the sweetest things but you were just 100th girl they have told …think…)

4. Guys hate girls who dared court them…(they didn’t like to received flowers, chocolates,etc..)

5. Guys could really be too "feeling and too "pa-cute" (they could be a puppy anyway..great pets..)

6. Guys do love girls who are scene-stealers (talk about a walking display, girl! ..ick..)

7. Guys do collect and reject, collect and dump, collect and recycle..(Well, guys are really good sanitary engineers. not bad for Adam’s race..)

8. Guys could really be so numb and dumb..( stupidity!?! or on being Iceman?!?)

9. Guys don’t practice the virtue of honesty and the law of karma..(they don’t even know how many lies they’ve told and to whom..)

10. Guys don’t deserve to be called Gentlemen anymore or even Prince Charming (maybe girls, could be gentlewoman.. and guys do have options..they could be SHREK..love that movie anyway.."_")

Key to My Heart

This song is from Back-Up PLan soundtrack..LOVE it!

KEY TO MY HEART- JESSICA JARRELL

Boy you put me on the spot I don't know what to say
But I'm trying anyway
Like my hearts gonna drop
My mind drifts away and I can't control the pains

Words are spinning in my head
Don't know why I'm holding back
I should just tell you how I'm feeling yeah heh

But I don't wanna act a fool
Don't wanna look confused
If I let you know about the way I feel
Don't know what you gonna do
So I keep it locked inside
And imagine you were mine
And I'm feeling you so close but yet so far
You hold the key to my heart

The more I brush it off
Tell myself it's nothing at all
Deeper I fall
And I imagine everyday
A thousand different ways
How you respond to what I say

Am I getting lost in my dreams?
Are you unreachable to me?
Cause these butterflies just won't go away

I don't wanna act a fool
Don't wanna look confused
If I let you know about the way I feel
Don't know what you gonna do
So I keep it locked inside
And imagine you were mine
And I'm feeling you so close but yet so far
You hold the key to my heart

But if I never tell you then you'll never know
And the secret is get-ting heavy to hold
This is more than just a crush
So I may stut-ter when I speak
And my knees may get a little weak
But I've got nothing to lose and only you to gain
Tell me do you feel the same

But I don't wanna act a fool
Don't wanna look confused
If I let you know about the way I feel
Don't know what you gonna do
So I keep it locked inside
And imagine you were mine
And I'm feeling you so close but yet so far
You hold the key to my heart

Therefore, I Believe

I always have insecurities, low self-esteem and lack self-confidence. I am often described as shy, timid or snob because of my silence and keeping to myself. I grew up not used to having attention from a crowd. Though I always wanted to be known and be noticed.

I knew I am not that beautiful, it is just now that I can tell myself that I am beautiful. People close to my hearts and the passing of time made me know that. But there are times I lost that feeling that I am pretty just like the moments that made me lose the confidence that I barely have. My father always supported, whatever my opinions he hear it out, whatever I wanted to be in my life he was just there tapping my back and telling me that I can. It is just that I am always a disappointment sometimes or maybe most of the times. You know the feeling that you know there is so much more that you can offer and that this is not your true self; who is feeling stupid and stagnant. But the environment and people that surrounds you trap you to move so to get out.

I seldom have friends who are handsome and beautiful, most are the average type. I get easily insecure when I am surrounded by persons who are being pursued by many because they have faces like that. I don’t know, maybe because if I join them I would look like a wall flower. If I have good-looking friends, those are the ones who boost my fading self-esteem. See, the lack of self-esteem there.

It is very seldom that I meet special people who believe in me and who can see the real me. So when I meet those kinds of people I know they will become a big part of me. I mean who would believe in someone who sometimes lacks the will to be strong and grab the confidence that she knows she can reach. A lot of times I failed the people the people that I cherished the most but even though that was the case they never lost their faith in me. On the moment that I no longer believe, they are the ones who is going to believe for me. For this I learn to be humble and share what I have to people around me. If my faith is sometimes failing, what I do is support the people around me and cheer for them to be strong.With this, I get to boost my self-confidence by seeing somebody gain more confidence of their character. I tell them to believe, for everyone has the right to dream.

As I go on with life, I knew as long as people believe in me I need to believe in me also. For as long as I believe, therefore I loved..